Let You

Let You
by Joel Howard

"I wanna die and let You give Your life to me, so I might live

And share the hope You gave to me, the love that set me free"

 - Keith Green, Make my life a prayer to You

I am pondering

The only way I can let God have control of my family, friends and future

The only way I can die and "let God"

The only way I can surrender

The only way I can truly love God

What is death to self? 

What is true death to self? 

When I see millions flee their country to seek refuge in another country

When I hear stories about the losses of so many others

Women, children and men alike

When I hear stories of people in pain

How can I reconcile that with my life today? 

When I'm in a conversation with a loved one

When my daughter whines, complains and flips out

When my son can't sleep at night

When I feel inner pain and loss myself

What does it look like to let you give me life? 

What does it look like to lift my eyes then? 

Less of me

Less of me now

Less of me in my world

Less of me in my family

Less of me in my community

And I find that the one thing standing in the way 

Of God using me to change my world

Is myself

More of you

and less of me 

was John's prayer

Surrendering doesn't just mean 

more of you

Giving up and surrendering also means

less of me

"Dying" for me right now means seeing all and not controling - seing most and not controlling, hearing and not stepping in. Surrendering.